I'm still here I assure you.
Thought I was better, but apparently not. Still trying.
Forgive me for being so quiet.

Some days are good. Some days are bad. Trying to stay positive. I'm avoiding real TV and watching mostly movies. I can tell something is wrong since I haven't played many games like I usually do. Sometimes I don't feel like me anymore. I really need to sit down and write Em. I also need to really sit down and write out my feelings no matter how dark they may seem. Better to get them out. Looking to buy a journal so that I can do that as well. Money situation is sucking too, adding to stress and pressure. I can't wait for June to be over. One more day.

I haven't written poems in a long time, but I broke out the pen and paper.


In A Week
by Darcy Anderson

Day One... Inconsolible.
The World that is, has taken my brother.
A long car ride seems forever,
Trying to catch up to someone no longer waiting.

Day Two... A blur.
Making decisions no older sister should ever have to.
Watching the wrold skpin, our family crack,
Wishing to catch up to someone no longer there.

Day Three... Horrendous pain.
Seeing my family merge into one.
Realizing you were no longer a boy, but a man way too late,
Running to catch up to someone that is no longer in the race.

Day Four... The aftermath.
Starring stoicly at nothing, waiting for time to drip slowly by.
No longer knowing what to say or do,
Wanting to catch up to someone that no longer lingers.

Day Five... Celebrating you.
Going out as a broken family, wanting to remember you happily.
Like you getting drunk as a babe or bringing a smile to everyone's face,
Needing to catch up to someone that is no longer around.

Day Six... Going home.
Finding your last waking place.
Saying goodbye, but crying out for you to stay.
Believing I can catch up to someone that is no longer standing.

It's been a week.
My heart's still broken.
My eyes still crying.
And now I can only wait to catch up to you, one day in heaven.

To My Brother
by Darcy Anderson

I feel so far away from you.
The pain inside me swells.
I feel that all the good from this world was drained.
Never to return to us.
Then I think of you and smile.
Knowing that our time was precious.
I was so blessed to have you as a brother.
Something I would never trade for anything.
So I will wrap your memories tightly around my heart,
and that's when I realize,
You will forever be with me.
My darling little brother.

I miss you already....

I know it's been forever and a day since I've updated. I could blame being busy. I could blame being distracted *oooh shiny*. I could blame WoW or my friends. But honestly, I'm just really lame. I always sit down to write something of value and find that it's not worth the energy to do so. I haven't really been happy with how my thoughts turn out on paper (Or internet as the case may be). Fact is, not much has been going on, and I could go on and on about how dull and boring I am or just not update. Yeah, just that lame. However, I find that at the moment, I shall bore you all with the insignifance of my goings on.

On the work front - The most important thing, I survived Black Friday (again). Wasn't bad for me, honestly. I had the closing shift, so that meant noon to midnight shift for me. The biggest rush had long been gone. It was pretty consistant for some time, but then it just died. Of course, the night crew had the lovely task of clean up, but we were all eager to go home and made quick work of that. Our district was going to come the next day so it had to be perfect. My department (thanks to lovely co-workers) is usually very easy and was no different that night. Most of us got out 45mins early. I'm sure I could have found something to do, but it had been a long day so I just left. Other news.... I did win a $1000 Giftcard to work. Of coruse, they taxed my next paycheck like no tomorrow, but whatever. I ended up doing a ton of Christmas shopping with it. I did manage to come out with a few things, so it was nice. It's mostly gone now, but I keep remembering I need to pick up this for so and so and the likes. Hmmm... as for work politics, we have gone through YET another General Manager. I'm starting to think that they are intentionally looking for complete morons for the job. Seriously, I think it's in the job description. Must be total moron and a two faced liar to even try for the job. Oh, well. Not like we ever saw the guy anyway. Now we're in limbo... Again... Whatever. Our other managers sorta suck the same. Never around. Not answering headset calls. Only one really even knows me. The others say there's no favortism, but if you asked them about me, prolly would fall over themselves. At least attempt. *shrug*

On a personal note - Uhhhhh.... What to say on this one? My Christmas shopping is almost done. Sunday nights are the shit, because they are D&D night and that means I get to go hang out with my friends, which I love more than anything. Home is good. Yeah, see.... Not really good at this.

On the WoW front - Figured I'd add this since I've been playing a lot more. Been enjoying the game for what it's worth. Got the new expansion (of course) and played a little of the new areas, but Les and I have just been enjoying the game. Working on professions... Achievements... Our new Death Knights and new characters. Before the expansion, I had a little race with our friend Ash. He and I raced to 70. It was about 10 levels and he was ahead of me, but I beat him. I will not be doing that again. It was a pain in my ass. Love the game, hate to make it work. If any of you are on, give me a hollar.

On the anime front - Been watching a lot of Bleach lately, trying to catch up. Still behind and must really get the time to watch some more. I've really been enjoying it lately. Still watching the new Narutos (Japanese not American). Watched Vampire Knights and now keep up with Vampire Knights Guilty. Oh and picked up the newest Loveless. Boy is that getting good.

On the music front - Still loving the usuals. Listening to Dragonforce too. But mostly it's the same stuff. Anime, Hyde/L'arc and of course My Chem. Funny too since my new D&D character revolves around them. It's pretty freaking sick. Les and I also decided that if we ever got to hang out with My Chem for the day and could do anything. We would play WoW with them, then take them to D&D and totally Geek out with them and they would so meld in with our friends so easy. Yeah, we're Nerds, but we love it.

Right, so I think that covers most of it. At least all that I'm able to pull out of myself. It's nothing exciting nor interesting. I wish I could express myself a lot more. I fell that my words are more clinical and less artistic. I suppose it gets the message across still the same.

I will do a proper update soon, but just wanted to share with everyone a little something that I did. If you didn't know, I play a lot of World of Warcraft, and this is me and my friends playing. Let me know what you think.

www.youtube.com/watch

Things have been all sorts of Eh. Lately. I can't say that they've been horrible, but I can't say they've been great either. Work royally pissed me off for a short time. I really hate changing management. We have to retrain them to us. Managers always come in promising the world and trying to change everything. Then after they think they've won us over, they go and change more shit and act all pompus. Which is the stage we're in now. Of course, usually we set them in their place and they mellow out. So, hopefully that will be the case this time too. What I do know is this time they managed at least for a short time to piss off most of the store. So, I'm gonna sit back and see what unfolds from this.

Yesterday had to go to the dentist and I'm still pretty sore today. Sort of sucks, but what can you do? At least I didn't have to get anymore wisdom teeth pulled. I should be done with the hard stuff. I'm also not as bad going to him, since I think I finally found someone I trust and is pretty cool. Now, just need to find a doctor that I trust. That will have to wait though. I'll have to ask around too. Maybe find myself a girl doctor since the guys Ive been too have pretty much been assholes.

Other than that, it's just been working. I haven't had much on the way of time off it seems. Yes, I get two days off, but unless I specifically ask for it, I don't get two in a row. Usually I don't mind. Splitting my week up can be good sometimes. But after about a month of it or so, I realize that two days off is just refreshing. I had one last week because I was suppose to do something that fell through and let me tell you, it was awesome. Did my errands and then just vegged, played games and hung out with lalabebe. Fantastic. I may have to request it every so often if they insist on giving everyone else two days off in a row except me.

I'll have to update again, when I have something of interest to say.

I'm having a bad week. Thus why apparently I've disappeared

Right, so I have been wanting to update, but yeah, same excuse. Been busy. Now I'm going to try to sum a few things up. The more important things anyway.

April 3rd. I got to see My Chemical Romance. They were freakin' amazing. It wasn't anything fancy like on their last tour (which I also saw right before my birthday). But, it was amazing. I couldn't have asked myself for a better present than to see them the day before. So lalabebe and I got up early and drove to Dublin, then took the BART to SF. We got there early enough, that we got to wander around Chinatown for a while. I love that place. We also got to have a nice lunch. Then we walked the 10 million blocks to the venue (it really wasn't that bad, but SF blocks are long). Our seats were near the back of the place, but it's a small venue so there really isn't any bad seat. I took some pictures on my phone, but cameras weren't allowed and last year my friend had her memory card taken, so I wasn't going to do that. Anyhow, the opening bands were alright, but I really just wanted to see them (of course). And they really just rocked the house. I screamed every song so loud that I thought I'd actually lose my voice. They looked awesome and they sounded fantastic. I don't know what I can really say about it. I do love a great theatrical show, but nothing beats just the down and dirty hard music show. They stil put on a great show. I love their energy and just everything about them. It's too hard to even TRY to explain. It was just fantastic.

Of course, I paid a few days later as I fell ill, but honestly it's worth it. I'm still recovering, but whatever. I'd do it again anyway.

So yesterday, we found ourselves back on BART and back in SF. It was Panic at the Disco's turn. We had early entry so we got there hella early, but honestly, didn't get in all that early. Still we had General Admission and found ourselves a great spot where no one was in front of us but we were still damn close. Once again, I took pictures on my phone, but apparently this time the Warfield let cameras in. That sort of pissed me off since on their website they don't allow it. Ah well. Phantom Planet was up first and they were really great. At the end the singer crowd surfed right over to us and we had to help him over the bar that we were standing at. The Hush Sound and Motion City Soundtrack were alright, but I haven't been big fans. Then of course Panic. They were great. The set was amazing and very pretty. They played a lot of new and old songs. It was the first day of the tour and our show dubbed it the "Happy Birthday Brendon" tour. It was my first time seeing them as last time they came around they cancelled, so I was very happy to see them. Anyhow, it was fantastic. I love them.

Although, officially we have no more concerts really lined up, we know that Warped is coming and will prolly go to one date. We'll have to wait and see who else comes around.

Alrightie, that's about it for reviews and such. I know there's more I could write and I may later for anyone who wants a lot of details. =D

Blame me. Blame the fact of last minute getting things together before I leave one department. Blame the fact that I'm scrambling for any sort of training before I start my new department. Whatever you blame, that's why I'm once again behind.

Last week was my last week in Appliances. I had to get packets together so the two new girls wouldn't be completely lost. They also get no real formal training (gotta love my store). I know what it's like and hate it, so I worked hard to put stuff together for at least reference. Tomorrow I start Computers. I will be completely alone with no real training except what I taught myself. I did have a little help about two years ago, so I will give Melissa props for giving me some VERY basic stuff to work with (so that I could help out when it was slow). The supervisor is out sick, not that it mattered, since I would have only had half an hour with him anyway. Oh well, they have been warned. I'm huge on training, so it bothers me. However, I shall do the best with what I have.

Tomorrow Panic's new album comes out. Not to mention the new Final Fantasy game for PsP. Yes, I'm extremly excited. The album is in the mail for me already. The game, well, I'm going to attack the people in Media to hold one for me, or buy it in the morning, whichever they prefer. My PsP is already charged and waiting to go.

I'm trying hard to catch up on some of my anime. I need to download more stuff, but I want to watch what I have too. So, tonight, I'm going to play a little catch up. Not much, since I now have to open. (Once again, I won't complain as I was mostly closing this week, until my sup got sick and now I open all but one day).

I have found myself way behind on things. Stupid work and travel issues have me gone for hours. Last week and most of this week, I'll be spending 12 hours or more at work. Because of my lack of a car, I have to rely on my friends, which have been super cool. But, I have to sometimes go in as early as 9am. I wouldn't start work until 1pm or later and then close, so around 9pm or a bit later. So, I haven't had time to really be around LJ. I would sometimes get home and just crash for a repeat the next day.

So the truck thing fell through. Mostly because there were too many varibles. It had to be registered by April and smogged. It needed a paint job and it needed the blinkers fixed. I think that it needed at least another 2k put into it, so I wasn't getting any deal.

I realized this week, as my brother and sister's birthdays came around, just how old they are. LOL. I still think of them as teenagers, but they're really far from. My sister is 27 and brother now 24 and I'm just like DAMN, what the hell? I felt old for a moment. haha

As of next week, I'm leaving Appliances and joining PCHO (Personal computers home office). I'll be the only girl, which is cool. It's been a long time since there's been a girl in the department. It's cool. I'm excited even if I have to go back to khaki pants. I love computer stuff. We have a new management staff, which seems to be good (cross your fingers) and things seem to be looking up.

I'll have to write more later when my thoughts are more coherant. I keep getting distracted.

1. Reply to this post, and I will pick three of your icons.
2. Make a post (including the meme info) and talk about the icons I chose.
3. Other people can then comment to you and make their own posts.
4. This will create a never-ending cycle of icon squee. Whoo!


From saiou


Haha! Breakfast monkey. I adore Gerard and his talent, so I had to have one of his drawings/cartoons. Plus, he's adorable


Gerard, looking beautiful. It looks candid and those are some of my favorite shots.


Frank from my favorite shoot. I love how he's so pale against the darkness. Describes things and how I feel.

Today was a short shift. Nice to start off the week that way.

Got two letters from saiou. Made my day. Must try to find the time in the week to reply. There really isn't enough hours to do so.

Going to see a truck my friend owns today. If everything goes well and it checks out, it will be the one I buy. Not usually one for trucks, but it's a ride and I'm really tired of asking for rides to work and stressing that I might not find one. Cross your fingers.

Wishing randomepiphany will feel better soon.

Been feeling much better at work. Hmmm... wonder why. Maybe because the manager I disliked is gone. Of course, all but two of our managers are gone and we're on a freaking skeleton crew, but for some reason, I have hope. A nice new start with new management is always great. Having to prove yourself to them again isn't, but it's not bothering me this time. (This will be like our 6th or 7th set in under 5 years).

Went to a new Mexican grill restaurant yesterday. It's fabulous. Thinking we might go again today.

Wish there was more to tell but at the moment, it's all I have.

Bare with me. I'm behind on LJ and I'm playing catch up. I'll get to read stories and comments ASAP.

See you around.

Alright, so there are many things to talk about today.

First, let me tell you about my new graphics card and WoW. AMAZING. Let me tell you. Everything is gorgeous. There are things in that game I never saw before and I've been playing the game for almost a year and a half. That's crazy. Not to mention that there's little jumping. Yes, I still get lag when the server is bogged down or my internet is wonky because of weather, but whatever. Water looks beautiful and the shading makes so much difference. Not to mention, I can see for what seems like miles away. My other game Sword of the New World is pretty much the same, so I'll have to try out Sims sometime soon. Now that I can store a few games at the same time, it's awesome. Yay!

Right, now onto the fun stuff. Saturday was Wondercon in San Francisco. Well it was the whole weekend, but we went on Saturday. We got up early and headed out. The drive there was pretty alright, nothing to mention really. Once we got there, it was pretty busy and it was like 11am. Craziness. We met briefly with our friends Ash and Sabrina before roaming the sales floor. They wanted to do panels and stuff and had been there for Friday. We however, didn't really care about the panels for that day and wanted to shop! So the long trek down the isles began. There was so much stuff, but I knew I was on a limit for spending too. There were a few things I was looking for but I try to go through the place once and then go back to places later, unless you see something you HAVE to have. It was so tempting. Man, so much stuff I wanted. There was also a lot of cosplayers around. I wish I would have taken more photos, but I guess shopping was top priority. So, I have a few but let me tell you there was so many I should have taken. I'll post what pictures I do have at the end.

So, Julie was looking for Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts stuff. I was looking for anything and everything and Les was along for the ride. I need to get her into more things so that next year she'll be alot more into it. She did have fun though, so that was great. I ended up finding a place with wallscrolls. That was on my list of stuff to look for. I like not having to pay shipping and stuff. So I got 3 for about the price of 1. Not too shabby. I got a Naruto one, a Final Fantasy VII one and a Zelda Twilight Princess one. I also have pictures of them. I did pick up a little Loveless coinpurse for a friend of mine that has given me rides to work when I was in a pinch. I managed to control myself pretty good considering I wanted to pick up swords, figurines and more. However, I did also get a Devil May Cry poster too, which I need to put up in my room. I'll try to get a picture of that later.

After casing most of the floor, we realized it was really late and that we hadn't eaten, so we left the convention to a little Sushi shop we saw on the walk from the garage to the center. Of course, that made me a happy camper, since I got a plate of sushi. Yummy. We took our time there and had good conversations. It was lalabebe, my friend Julie and Lala's brother and of course myself. So it was fun. We took pictures of our food (don't ask) too.

When we went back in, it was really crowded and people were still piling into the place. I found Media Blasters, which had a hard copy of Sensitive Pornograph, which I couldn't pass up. Yes, I had it downloaded from Japan, but this was licensed. To my surprise, when I watched it, found out that it isn't censored at all either. Wow. The table was covered in Yaoi, which was fantastic. I could have gone crazy there, but I only bought the one DVD. I'll have to wait for Yaoi con for that. I also did buy little bracelets for two friends, that were cute. We finally finished looking at all the vendors and then went back to get stuff we might have missed for Julie and Lala. I knew I wanted to walk by the fansites, like Browncoats to see them, which we did briefly. I was tempted to buy the panel that I saw in 05 of the Firefly staff, but again, tried to be good. Maybe next year. I also had to walk by the people signing autographs. I knew the Red Ranger "Rocky" would be there, and somehow I thought saiou would never forgive me if I didn't take a few pictures of him for her. Chewbaka and the Hulk was there too. So it was pretty fun to watch people.

We left after 5pm, mostly because we would spend more money if we stayed there and we were getting tired. It was raining too, which would make the drive home miserable. We just didn't want it to get too bad. So we left, and the traffic was CRAZY. We found out the next day that the Chinese New Year's Parade was going on, and that's why the traffic was hell. I would have loved to go see that, had I known and it wasn't pouring. I did get to see it on TV the next day, which was nice.

So that was our day. We decided to try to do two days next year. That way we could maybe do panels and not have as many people on at least one of the days. Everyone had a blast. Yesterday, was mostly relaxing and then our D&D night. lalabebe has been coming with me and has been enjoying it, as I thought she would. Yay!

( I promised pictures, so here they are )

Alright, that's all I have to say at this time. saiou we need to chat sometime.

I'm going to see MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!!!!! Yay!!!!

I think I might pass out.

Happy Early Bday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


Sorry for the fangirl moment.

On a second note a week later is Panic. *dies*

I'll go ahead and do a real update. This last  two weeks has been strange. Last week I got really sick. Yes, I got that horrible flu that everyone got. It sucked. I woke up with no energy, had a bad cough, got sick all day. What was worse was I had tried to go and do stuff on Monday which just made me feel miserable. So, instead of doing fun stuff, we came home and I slept and generally felt yucky. Tuesday wasn't much better. Went to work on Wednesday, but one of my wisdom teeth started to give me hell. It started to feel better and I set up an appointment for the following Monday. Went to work on Tuesday in which my tooth began really giving me trouble. On Wednesday my computer failed.  *sob* Took it to Ash to try to fix it. Thursday, I could no longer take my wisdom tooth issue and found myself making an emergency appointment to get it removed. So yes, my Valentines day was spent at the Dentist. The good news is, it's out and I'm feeling much better.  So I've been mostly on liquids lately and it sucked. Yesterday was my first day of having some real solid foods. So yay! I'm feeling much better. Now only two more to get out but that will be later, probably March or so.

Yesterday I also got me a new computer. Started with just a basic CPU and then upgrade the video card and the RAM and had our guys install it, so that everything was guaranteed. It did take a long time to get it done because they were busy, but we ended up getting it last night. Came home and began the long process of getting stuff on my computer. Anti virus, trying to remember bookmarks and all that shit you have to do. We did get to check some mail and all that. THEN comes the long LONG LONG process of installing and downloading WoW patches. I installed the programs pretty quickly, but the downloads are horrid. Probably because of my internet, but what can you do? I'm still downloading now and hopefully it'll be done soon and I can be playing again soon. I'm excited to see how it looks with my new graphics card. Plus it's my weekend and that's what I do.

In other news, on the 23rd I get to go to San Francisco to Wonder Con. I'm really excited about that. A bunch of us from Best Buy are going. Some for the entire weekend, some for two days and then me and a few for just Saturday. I can only take one day as I would spend too much money and of course we'd have to find a place to stay and thus more money. I'm already lower on my savings than I'd like, but oh well, it's only money and there are things we're doing. For example, going to see Panic at the Disco. I'm also going to try to get tickets to My Chemical Romance. I mean, that concert is meant for me. It's the day before my birthday. There's no way I can't TRY to go. Wish me luck as the tickets go on sale in 15 mins or so. So, you'll get a post after that I'm sure.

Right, so that about sums what I've been doing lately. Not too exciting but hey, whatever.

Right, so something happened and I've been out of a computer for a few days. Only having one computer (which sucks and shouldn't even be called a computer), sucks. So, my friend Ash attempted to fix that computer, however it was taking too long. He may still get it up and running, but withdraws are bad. Not to mention I have stuff to do. So, I broke down and bought a new CPU. It does suck for the fact that I need to download programs and reinstall games, however the good news is, that Ash backed up most of my data. So now you know why I've been MIA for almost a week. Hopefully, should be around more now. Woot!

I'll try to update more on my week later.

Right, so I've been really sick for like 3 days now. When I say sick. I mean really sick. Started as a chest thing. Of course I really hate that the most. I'd rather have head cold then a chest cold. Then Monday, we were driving to Turlock and I was just so tired and weak. I thought maybe I just needed to eat and we stopped to get something, but I couldn't even finish it. I just wasn't interested. I slept on the way home and then when we got home, I went pretty much to bed. Then it was a battle of being hot and cold, getting sick and feeling sane. All the while coughing my lungs up. Tuesday, had to call in sick because even standing made me ill. Once again, I thought I felt better, but then it would hit me again. Finally yesterday, I was feeling better with the exception of still coughing and my gut hurting from coughing so damn much. I got to eat solid food, which after two days was fantastic. Today, I'm still battling a cough, but I have to go into work tonight. I'm a bit slow, but I'm feeling better. I haven't been this sick in a long time. Sure, I've had colds and taken a day off here and there, but never so sick that my weekend bled through almost half my week. I would probably stay home today too, if I didn't have to bring a doctors note. I think I should be fine though as long as I take it easy. Let me tell you too, lalabebe is the best. She would come in and check up on me. Cover me with tons of blankets when I had a chill and make me soup or tea or just refill my water/orange juice. She's the bestest. <33

So, I'm thinking that I'm really going to try to write more in this damn thing. So people need to keep poking me if I go afk for too long. I'm sure you know who I'm talking about. ;D

Been wanting to get back into writing again too. Need plot bunnies. LOL.

I've been thinking. I might want to get more into photography. Wish I had an awesome camera. LOL. I know all about them, but don't own one. Hmmm....